[INTERVIEW] Singer-TV personality Tony An - Part 2

Tony An [Chae Ki-won/10Asia]

10: It also doesn't seem cheesy or arrogant that you call yourself a 'top star' in your song. You've rather even made sort of a caricature out of yourself.
An: The 'top star' that the song sings of is me. In the bridge, the lyrics go, "When I've become nobody and useless, my last and only fan." I've been with top group H.O.T., I've failed with other things and I've suffered depression. So this song is about how I feel about making a comeback after being through all of that. That's what I was going for with "Top Star." I've seen so many celebrities during my career. And everyone is a star at one point. Yet very few have continued to do well. Even now, I think only a few people from the first generation of idols have stayed in this business. So I wanted to talk about a 'top star' in a different sense -- as someone who has braved through all the ups and downs and is still in the business after 15 years.

10: Then do you think you're at the most mature point of your life right now, at the age of 33? I think the phrase 'top star' would also encompass the fact that you've matured as a human being as well.
An: I think I'm in my most mature and happiest state right now. I wouldn't be able to go back to my H.O.T. days even if was asked to. I'd never go back to it. It was as if my life was like someone's life from the movie "Matrix." I was myself but it was like I was being controlled by others. Oh, I'm not saying that Mr. Lee Soo-man was controlling. (laugh) Back then, I had no choice but to lead my life the way other people wanted it to go. In the way the fans wanted, in the way the agency wanted, and in the way the members of my group wanted. I was a real celebrity because I'd have to think about what I'm going to say before the words come out and think of the effect my actions would have before I make a move. So I'm couldn't be happy. But now, I'm just An Seung-ho, living my life. That's why I feel comfortable about going on TV. I can be honest. And that's why it's fun. Because I don't have to mind this and that.

10: Then why does the Tony An we see today, who is no longer a celebrity, do music out of all the things he could do? Doing something simply because it's something you used to do and doing something for your happiness are different things.
Tony An: Well, I told you I had halted my activities for about four years which is when I did something a bit different. I worked hard at my own business and other things but it was after releasing this album and promoting it that I felt, 'Yes, this is it.' That's it's what I feel the most joy and happiness over. That's why I told myself that I should stay a singer for a long time. It's like I've been handed a new life after being cured of terminal illness. I feel happy no matter what I do these days.

10: I'm guessing you could probably relieve the stress you get from your business through music?
An: Very much so. (laugh) It sometimes feels like I bundle up all the annoying things that are going on in my life and let them out on stage. It's like I've solved my day's worth of work when I get to do that once a day.

10: Maybe that's why then but it seems like you have fun on variety shows rather than seeming like you're under the pressure to pull off something major.
An: I wasn't like that at first. I was scared because I didn't know what I was supposed to do but it's become easier after I realized that my job is to be a singer. Should I say that I'm less pressured? I think Simon D (of Supreme Team) is great at balancing the two. He works hard at his music, he works hard for television appearances. I told myself that I'd be happy if I lived my life like that as well, that I should be like him.

Tony An [Chae Ki-won/10Asia]

10; Speaking of Simon D, do you feel that the young singers you meet on TV these days are different. Does it seem like they have more freedom in regards to their life?
An: That's what I thought at first. That they're going to be self-assertive and outspoken. But I don't think that's the case. They're actually overworked more than we were because back in the days, singers released albums once or twice a year so they had a clear view on things but the albums come every two months now which gives them less time to think and plan. I guess what's changed is that they speak more comfortably on TV and personal settings? Before, male and female groups couldn't talk or look or each other but everyone is friends now and they exchange numbers very casually. I don't think I should say whether that's good or bad.

10: Does seeing your junior singers overworked remind you of your past?
An: I'm not sure about that. There's nobody I've felt that about so far. It's just that I feel sorry for them, all the time. I'm sure they're having a hard time. I know because I've been through it.

10: You mentioned earlier that you want to stimulate your juniors with the activities you're pursuing right now.
An: But I'm sure they probably won't feel anything right now. They will definitely in ten years. Even if it may have just been one person who did, that person having showed them how to live their lives and which paths to take will be a guideline.

10: Well, you probably suffered from depression in the past from loneliness but do you think you would've been less lonely if a certain senior of yours told you which direction you should go?
An: We didn't have that back then. There wasn't a single senior to tell us about such things because we were the first generation of idol groups. I guess you could say Seo Taiji was but it wasn't like we could meet him. (laugh) I'm sure he would have told us many things if he had been with us. But I do think that there are a lot of singers who aren't prepared enough. Half of the singers you see now will disappear in the next two to three years. And there are singers who are even preparing for that. In a way, it's worth commending but I think some of them mistakenly think they'll stay popular. That is what's disappointing.

10: It seems like you're becoming a very good adult. You seem quite mature already but do you think you'll continue to mature?
An: I guess we'll have to wait and see about that. There actually are ways in which I lack in compared to the past. I've become more timid and small-minded. But I know that's an aspect that exists inside me so I'm trying to work at it. I'm guessing that's what maturing is about. Who knows what'll happen in the future but I'm hoping I'll be okay by the time I'm 40 if I keep making these sort of efforts.

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Reporter : Wee Geun-woo eight@
Photographer : Chae ki-won ten@
Editor : Jessica Kim jesskim@, Jang Kyung-Jin three@