"Depression After Third Child... Husband Demands Divorce Calling Me a 'Mental Patient'"

Husband Abused Wife Who Did All the Childcare Alone
When She Considered Divorce, He Said "I Won't Give Custody"
Does Depression Work Against in Lawsuits?
"Simple Depression Is Not Disadvantageous"

A story has emerged about a wife who, while working as a working mom managing the sole childcare of three children, is considering divorce from her husband who verbally abused her with words like 'mentally ill' after she developed postpartum depression.

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On the 4th, YTN's 'Attorney Jo In-seop's Counseling Room' reported the story of wife A, who has been married for 10 years. A said, "We are both government employees and have three daughters aged eight, five, and two," and added, "My husband did not help at all with raising the three daughters or with household chores."

A explained the situation, saying, "Originally, we planned to have only two children, but I unexpectedly became pregnant with a third. Since my husband hardly participated in childcare or housework, I felt sorry but thought I could not handle three children, so I did not want to have the third." She continued, "However, when my mother-in-law heard about the pregnancy, she confidently promised, 'I will take care of the child, so just give birth.' So I had the third child. But after the baby was born, my mother-in-law acted as if she never made such a promise, saying, 'When did I say that?'" She lamented, "In the end, I took parental leave and ended up raising all three children alone."

A, who grew increasingly exhausted from raising the children alone, said, "I somehow managed with two children, but when I had to take care of the third, I developed depression." She claimed, "Arguments with my husband became frequent, and when he saw the psychiatric medication I was taking, he accused me of being mentally ill every time we fought over childcare and housework." She added, "When I, exhausted, brought up divorce, my husband threatened, saying, 'I cannot entrust the children to a mentally ill person. If you file for divorce, I will request a psychiatric evaluation and prove your mental illness in court.' I feel like I will die if I continue living with him, but I am afraid that my depression will be used against me in the divorce case and I will lose custody of the children."

Attorney Lee Kyung-ha (Shinsegae Law Firm), who heard the story, advised, "If depression leads to violent or problematic behavior toward the spouse or children, one may be deemed unfit as a caregiver, but simply having depression does not put one at a disadvantage." She explained, "In determining parental rights and custody, the key factors are who has primarily cared for the children and who has formed a strong attachment with them. Even if the husband requests a psychiatric evaluation in the divorce case, unless it is sufficiently proven that A's depression has led to violence against the children making her unfit as a caregiver, the court is unlikely to accept it."

■ Depression Prevention and Treatment Methods

1. Definition of Depression
- Depression (depressive disorder) is a condition characterized mainly by decreased motivation and feelings of sadness, causing various cognitive and psychosomatic symptoms that impair daily functioning.
- The lifetime prevalence of depressive disorder is about 15%, especially reaching 25% in women.
- It is a serious illness that causes changes in emotions, thoughts, physical condition, and behavior.
2. Causes
- The exact causes are not yet clear.
- Like other mental illnesses, biochemical, genetic, and environmental factors can cause depression.
3. Treatment
- The most effective treatment combines medication with psychotherapeutic approaches.
- Electroconvulsive therapy and light therapy are also used.
- Recently, rTMS treatment has been reported effective in studies.
- Antidepressants generally take several days to weeks to show effects, so medication should be taken for at least 4 to 6 weeks to assess effectiveness.
- It is important to maintain a therapeutic trust relationship with a psychiatrist and not give up treatment midway.
- After symptoms improve, maintenance medication is important to prevent relapse.
- Maintenance therapy for at least six months is recommended.
- Alcohol, smoking, and illegal drugs should be avoided as they worsen depressive symptoms.
4. Prevention Methods
- There is no proven prevention method.
- Stress management, social relationships, and social support during times of crisis can help.
- The most important thing is to receive treatment at the early signs before symptoms worsen.

This content was produced with the assistance of AI translation services.