[Current & Culture] "I Will Raise Your Head for You"

I have dabbled in a few types of recreational sports. Things like badminton, baseball, boxing, and running. I never started any of them because I was good at them; I just found them interesting and gave them a try for a few months or years before quitting. The excuses varied: no money, no time, having to take care of children, losing interest, and so on. The only activity I am currently doing is running. It seems sustainable despite having little money, little time, and kids clinging to me, so I will likely continue.

People who start something new are often called ‘newbies’ or ‘kkokkoma’ (little kids), while the experienced ones on the other side are often called ‘go-inmul’ (literally “stagnant water,” meaning veterans). The veterans feel a flutter in their hearts watching the awkward efforts of the newbies trying hard. It reminds them of their own early days, making them find the newbies simply cute and endearing. So they want to help in many ways?passing down equipment, correcting posture, or even providing personal training. Newbies grow through this kind of care. Thanks to them, I was able to reach a level where I could enjoy anything together.

However, one day, someone’s words hurt my feelings. “If you try a little harder, soon I can ‘raise your head.’”

He gave me everything he had without hesitation. Being a good adult, I was making progress not only in sports but also in life thanks to him. That day, too, he was encouraging me while giving me something. He said if I tried a little more, he could ‘raise my head.’ I think I once heard that phrase in a historical drama. As I understood it, it was an expression a man says to a woman, meaning they would spend their first night together. Although both he and I were men, regardless of gender, it was insulting. Relationships can never be one-sided. Especially when it comes to marriage and such, it starts with mutual respect, not one person ‘raising the other’s head’ and subordinating their life.

Recently, a woman I know said she heard the same phrase from a man she exercised with. When she refused his offer to help, he said, “I can raise your head.” She cut off contact with him, but she said those words were very insulting. It must have been even more so coming from the opposite sex. However, among people who do this exercise, the phrase ‘raise your head’ has become a common expression over time. This phrase, which should only appear in historical dramas or to reflect a certain era, still exists in the 21st century. Moreover, who ‘raises heads’ after marriage nowadays? This is wrong.

There are still many expressions around us that subordinate and alienate a group, causing humiliation. The Ministry of Gender Equality and Family may disappear soon, but we must continue to watch and correct these things. At the very least, we should be aware and say that such things need to be eliminated.

Kim Minseop, social and cultural critic

This content was produced with the assistance of AI translation services.