[A Sip of Books] What Victims Need Is the 'Right Not to Forgive'

Some sentences encapsulate the entire content of the book itself, while others instantly reach the reader's heart, creating a connection with the book. We introduce such meaningful sentences excerpted from the book. - Editor's note

This is a book by a trauma counselor who has spent over a decade working with victims and their families, as well as contemplating ways for them to restore their daily lives as someone close to them. While everyone focuses on the incident, he pays attention to the pain and wounds of the victims. He says that the proper perspective and attitude toward victims begin with refraining from premature consolation. He raises issues about victims being forced to forgive under the dictum "Hate the sin, not the sinner," and their private lives being fully exposed. Conversely, even when perpetrators can exercise their right to remain silent... He points out the public's tendency to view situations from the perpetrator's perspective too easily, although anyone can become a victim.

For a long time, I denied both the theory of innate goodness and innate evil, believing that humans are born as blank slates and become different people depending on how they are educated. However, as my experience accompanying the recovery process of crime victims accumulated, and as I observed their neighbors striving to protect the victims, I came to realize that a strong will for goodness resides deeply within human nature. Humans are good. You, who are reading this book, are surely good. I salute your good will to listen to the experiences of crime victims.

At any time in life, anyone can unexpectedly become a victim of crime without any fault of their own. This is not a call to live more cautiously. Nor is it a call to distrust and fear those around you. Rather, it is a call to recognize that when someone becomes a crime victim, a part of us is wounded, and to empathize with that pain in a healthy way, helping them recover well and return as healthy neighbors. Numerous studies consistently show that the greatest factor aiding recovery from the effects of crime is 'support from those around.' This means that you, reading this book, might be the only resource to help someone suffering from crime trauma.

Time flows equally for everyone. However, each person experiences time differently, and consequently, the positive effects of time vary from person to person. If one can stay safely in a protective environment, time is undoubtedly a special remedy for trauma recovery. But if one must face the aftereffects alone and in solitude, long periods become another source of pain, and the time spent painfully accumulates, worsening symptoms. The journey to recovery is long and arduous. Therefore, it is very difficult to bear alone. However, as Elisabeth K?bler-Ross, the most respected authority on the subject of death, said, having even just one person to care for you can make the path less lonely and less exhausting, and shorten the time of endurance.

The Right Not to Forgive | Written by Kim Taekyung | Whalebooks | 284 pages | 16,000 KRW

This content was produced with the assistance of AI translation services.