Eating Portions and Living as a Slave for 10 Years... Why Can't They Escape Gaslighting?

Forced to do laundry, cleaning, and even eat feces for over 10 years
Victim: "I thought they would kill me if I ran away"
Expert: "Difficult for victims to recognize abuse in close relationships"

File photo. It has been revealed that a woman in her 30s was subjected to gaslighting (psychological manipulation) by a private tutor for over 10 years. Photo by Asia Economy DB

[Asia Economy Reporter Kang Juhee] The shocking case of a woman in her 30s who was subjected to gaslighting (psychological domination) by a private tutor for over 10 years and abused and exploited to the extent of being forced to eat feces has come to light. The woman reportedly did not realize the severity of the harm she was suffering despite the abuse.

Gaslighting is a form of psychological control that makes it difficult for victims to recognize that they are being abused, which has led to increasing severity of crimes using this method. Experts emphasize the need for mandatory education on crimes that can occur within intimate relationships.

According to a KBS report on the 5th, Ms. A was subjected to gaslighting and harsh treatment by private tutor Mr. B for 10 years. Ms. A first met Mr. B in 2003 when she was in the third year of middle school. She followed Mr. B so closely that she decided on her university and major based on his advice. After entering university, Ms. A worked part-time as a private tutor at Mr. B’s tutoring center for four years, and after graduation, she worked as a private tutor at Mr. B’s home.

Mr. B’s gaslighting began at this point. Ms. A worked nearly 10 hours a day without receiving a salary and was forced to do household chores such as laundry and cleaning for Mr. B’s family. She was also deprived of several million won in tuition fees sent by her parents.

Harsh treatment was frequent. Ms. A was punished by being forced to stand naked on the veranda for eight hours for wearing underwear she was told not to wear, and was even coerced into eating Mr. B’s feces. In an interview, Ms. A said, "I was forced to stuff my mouth with hair and tissues from the floor. I struggled and said I hated it, but he said, ‘You have to eat this to come to your senses, to change and realize things,’ and ‘Do you think you’ll come to your senses without eating feces?’"

The Changwon District Court sentenced Mr. B to five years in prison on August 21 for habitual special injury charges. Mr. B is also on trial for habitual assault on the daughter of his lover 14 times, among other charges.

A woman in her 30s, Ms. A, who was abused by a private tutor, with bruises on her body. Photo by KBS Broadcast Screen Capture

Crimes involving gaslighting occur in various types of relationships such as family, friends, lovers, or workplace superiors. They often begin by establishing an intimate relationship to psychologically dominate the victim, followed by emotional abuse or violence.

In July last year in Anyang, three sisters fatally assaulted their biological mother multiple times. Investigations revealed that a 30-year acquaintance of the mother, who was deeply involved in shamanistic beliefs, instigated the crime. The perpetrator incited the sisters by blaming their mother for their inability to marry and their difficult lives, which ultimately led to the fatal group assault.

In another case last July, a wife who could no longer endure domestic violence from her husband took her own life. It was revealed that the victim had suffered gaslighting for a long time. The victim’s sister, Ms. C, said through a Blue House national petition, "The perpetrator’s repeated manipulation of situations and lies, criticism directed at my sister, and the cycle of violence followed by periods of affection and praise caused her to lose her sense of reality and judgment."

The problem is that crimes involving gaslighting occur secretly within intimate relationships, making it difficult for outsiders and even the victims themselves to recognize the abuse.

In an interview, Ms. A said she did not realize she was being abused despite the harsh treatment. She said, "(Mr. B) would nag for hours or all night, blaming me for things like my pronunciation or the way I walked. His words always sounded convincing and well-spoken." She added, "People ask why I didn’t leave sooner, but at the time, I felt like he would kill me if I tried to escape."

Ms. C also explained that her sister, who died due to her husband’s abuse, "was dominated for 10 years without realizing that her relationship with her husband was not love. She suffered and became depressed, denying the harsh reality and unbearable violence, and ultimately could not ask for help and died."

Experts advise that if someone repeatedly blames you or makes you feel guilty in a relationship, you should suspect gaslighting.

Attorney Lee Eun-ui (Lee Eun-ui Law Office) explained, "Gaslighting can lead to serious crimes such as injury or assault, making it dangerous. Because it occurs gradually within intimate relationships, it is difficult for outsiders to notice, and victims find it hard to resist."

She continued, "It is important for victims to realize that they are being harmed. If you repeatedly hear words that induce guilt in a relationship, you should suspect gaslighting. Gaslighting is based on relationships, but education on this is almost nonexistent in schools. Not only education on violence but also humanities education on the nature and etiquette of various relationships such as family, friends, and lovers is necessary."

This content was produced with the assistance of AI translation services.