[SSG nudge Leadership] 'Can't Even Match That Simple Hobby?'

- The Pandemic Stay-at-Home Era, the Origin of Gahwamansaseong (家和萬事成)

Changwook Park, CEO of Korea Knowledge Leader Association (Secretary General of Daewoo World Management Research Association)

A woman from Jeolla Province and a man from Gyeongsang Province have been married for 34 years. However, they still haven't overcome their style differences and occasionally argue. The trigger is the man's blunt way of speaking. Most of his demands to his wife are to "speak in order and logically when talking." But since women tend to be emotional, their speaking style strongly reflects that, and he realized late that changing it is not easy. This realization came while preparing a communication lecture.

This is my story and confession. We clashed a lot over these kinds of things. For example, wandering endlessly in department stores or marts, difficulty in keeping time when going out together as a couple, and even getting confused about right and left directions when I was driving and my wife was giving directions. It turned out that this was not just my problem. People around me also experienced similar issues causing marital fights.

Let's turn the clock back 25 years. I was assigned a special project at work and had a dinner with several superiors. At a table where my immediate superior, his superior, and the superior above him were all present, the highest-ranking boss, the president, encouraged me several times by saying, "Manager Park, you have to do well!" Each time, I replied, "Yes, President! Don't worry. I will do well." After the same exchange a few times, the second-in-command at the table, the vice president, said, "Hey! Manager Park. Why are you not letting the president enjoy his hobby? Worrying is his hobby." This one remark made everyone burst into laughter, balancing the encouragement and my determined responses. From then on, I changed my perspective on things the other person cannot change.

Whenever I thought, "Nagging again and again," I would just say to myself, "Nagging is a hobby. I just can't accommodate that one." Since then, I adopted this mindset to accept habits at home that don't change and continue. Changing my perspective to see everything as a "hobby" made me feel so much more at ease. Wandering around department stores is a hobby, being late because of styling before going out is a hobby, and confusing left and right while sitting next to the driver is also a hobby. I think, "Can't you even accommodate that once? Being a husband is so pathetic."

I extended this to work as well. When I hear nagging (?) from my superiors who worry, I enjoy interpreting it self-servingly by saying, "It seems my report went well. That's why they only nag. That's their hobby."

When giving a wedding ceremony sermon, I always include this part: "When two completely different families come together to form one household, understand all the words from your parents-in-law or father- and mother-in-law as their hobby. It is an economical hobby that doesn't require extra allowance. Can you not accommodate even one hobby of nagging for the rest of your life?"

Due to the novel coronavirus disease (COVID-19), the time spent staying at home has increased terribly. My wife's cooking time has also increased tremendously. Until now, I was lazy about housework under the pretext of work and livelihood, so there was little I could help with. But from now on, various tasks have become my responsibility: peeling garlic, trimming green onions, removing anchovy heads, vacuuming, hanging laundry, and so on. It has become my new hobby.

Even this morning, she asked me to do a simple task I usually don't do. She said she was preparing red bean porridge for tomorrow's Dongji (winter solstice). She would boil the red beans, and I was to grind them in the blender and make rice cake balls. "Yes, ma'am." This new hobby also saves costs, helps the household finances, and became an opportunity to understand the work done at home.

Park Chang-wook, CEO of Korea Knowledge Leader Association (Secretary General of Daewoo Global Management Research Association)

◆ What is 'Nudge Leadership'?

- 'Nudge Leadership' is not a coercive or directive oppressive method but a small and gentle intervention or motivation that leads to change in organizations or individuals. It also means improving human relationships through small changes by oneself and transforming into a person others want to follow. Ultimately, it breathes creativity and passion into organizations or relationships to create new value and happiness.

This content was produced with the assistance of AI translation services.