［Contribution］We Must Move Forward Through Dialogue, Not Child Abuse

Geochang Police Station Jeong Seong-hyeok

Recently, I have been reflecting a lot on the concept of ‘childcare.’ I think about the happiness and fulfillment felt during the process of caring for a child, as well as the hardships involved. While looking forward to becoming a parent, I also find myself deeply concerned about the weight of that responsibility.

It wasn’t from the beginning that I had these concerns. At first, I thought about ‘dating,’ which then led me to consider ‘marriage’ as the fruit of dating, and from the fruit of marriage, I naturally began to think about ‘children,’ which in turn led to worries about ‘childcare.’

As I pondered these matters, I arrived at the question, ‘What is good childcare?’ I often discussed these thoughts with acquaintances. One person said, ‘Just as a gardener prunes branches well to grow a good tree, if a child misbehaves, they should be guided onto the right path through discipline.’ I agree with that statement.

Then, what is the proper method of discipline? Someone said it is the ‘rod of love.’

I asked an acquaintance what they meant by the ‘rod of love.’ They shared a story from their childhood. They said they only ate meat side dishes when they were young, but after being scolded by their parents one day, they began to eat vegetable side dishes as well. Thanks to that, they stopped being a picky eater, and they said this was an example of the ‘rod of love.’

Of course, from the story above, the acquaintance achieved a good result through the ‘rod of love.’ However, it is difficult to agree that this was a good method. If you remove ‘love’ from the ‘rod of love,’ only the ‘rod’ remains. In other words, objectively speaking, the ‘rod of love’ is a method of disciplining a child through the use of a rod.

Another acquaintance gave an example related to this. They also experienced something similar and said that whenever they see a ‘hyojasun’ (a traditional Korean back scratcher), memories of that time come back, leaving a trauma.

As such, the disciplinary method called the ‘rod of love’ carries the darkness of ‘trauma.’ And we refer to that as ‘child abuse.’ Therefore, the disciplinary method of the ‘rod of love’ is not a good childcare method.

Then, what is a good childcare method? It is ‘dialogue.’ Having a ‘dialogue’ means recognizing the other person as an individual. Of course, making someone understand is very difficult, but ‘dialogue’ with a child is the best way to acknowledge the child as a person and to discipline them properly.

Sometimes, it can be difficult to have a ‘dialogue’ with a child. However, rather than leaving trauma through child abuse, I believe that taking the time and effort to proceed through ‘dialogue’ is the ‘right attitude for childcare.’

Jung Seong-hyeok, Public Relations Officer, Administrative Division, Geochang Police Station

This content was produced with the assistance of AI translation services.