6 Months into Parental Leave... My Son Said, "Dad, You're Doing Awesome"

6th Month of Parental Leave, Reporter Baek Gyeonghwan from Construction and Real Estate Department
Decided Not to Send Second Child to Daycare... Every Day Feels Like a Battle
"Always Made Side Dishes Myself and Avoided Fast Food Restaurants"
"Burst into Tears After Hearing Encouragement from Older Child Seeing My Exhausted Back"

[Asia Economy Reporter Baek Kyunghwan] I took parental leave in August last year to take care of my two sons, something that is said to be possible only if one has committed sins in a past life. Time has flown by in a whirlwind, and before I knew it, the children’s winter vacation arrived without any major issues.

My determination to keep the younger child at home instead of sending him to daycare remains strong. This is because there will never be another opportunity in my life to dedicate 24 hours solely to my children. I have even started to enjoy carrying the younger one while going around to the older child’s school, academies, and experiential learning centers.

I have lost weight. It’s because I have been constantly chasing after the younger child who messes up the house after a daily battle with the older child over clothes before school. As a result, I have often had to settle meals with leftover food from the kids. Perhaps I have developed a certain know-how where skipping one or two meals means I only need to cook once every two days.

Conscious of the concerns from those around me who say, "As expected, a man taking care of kids..." I don’t even look for side dish shops. I have never resorted to fast food to feed the kids. I don’t pay attention to my spouse’s sarcastic remarks like "No one cares," coming from outside.

Not only do I dress the kids, but I also cannot neglect my own appearance. Although I have been receiving clothing sponsorships (?) for nearly 20 years from my sister-in-law who runs a clothing business, I never miss the time spent browsing online shopping malls beside the younger child who is napping. When my spouse hears neighbors say, "Minjun’s dad even makes side dishes himself?" or "Minjun’s dad doesn’t even look like a father of two," I feel that my efforts are being recognized.

Reporter Baek Kyunghwan from the Construction and Real Estate Department is spending time with his children. (Photo by Baek Kyunghwan)

Above all, the encouragement from my older child gives me strength. Last summer, while stir-frying vegetables with the younger child on my back, I casually asked, "Am I doing well?" The child came over and replied, "You’re doing really well," and I burst into tears at the praise.

However, it is always disappointing that there is no one to openly share the difficulties of male parental leave. I preach the virtues of parental leave to other dads I meet occasionally, but their reactions are lukewarm. They dismiss the Statistics Korea report that male parental leave takers increased by nearly 50% in 2018 as far from reality. They say that excluding public officials, the number is not large. In fact, I couldn’t find any cases of dads taking parental leave in my older child’s grade.

The biggest reasons are the immediate income reduction and job insecurity afterward. Since 2018, the "Dad Parental Leave Bonus" system has been in place, but it only applies to the first three months after leave. From the fourth month, when income plummets to below 1 million won, early return to work becomes a serious consideration. This aligns with the analysis by the Korea Population, Health and Welfare Association that the average male parental leave period is only 6.7 months, notably shorter than that of women. I also stopped the monthly savings I had been making before leave to prepare living expenses for a year, but seeing the income reflected in my account from the fourth month makes me look forward to returning to work.

The praise that once made me proud, "Minjun’s dad must work at a good company," is also a bittersweet point upon reflection. According to data released by the Ministry of Employment and Labor, more than half (56.7%) of male parental leave takers in the first half of last year worked at companies with over 300 employees, showing a clear concentration in large corporations. The percentages for companies with 30 or more employees and 10 or more employees were 10.6% and 8.2%, respectively. Although social awareness is moving toward a 'shared parenting era' between dads and moms, there is a gap with reality.

In the long term, if practical issues are resolved, male parental leave could become a foundation for achieving gender equality. In male-centered corporate cultures, women experience career gaps due to childbirth and childcare. Increased participation of men in parental leave could help close this gender career gap. In a reality where employment difficulties, marriage costs, housing issues, and women’s career breaks are major reasons for declining birth rates, the gradual increase in male parental leave should also lead to a recovery in birth rates.

Last summer, while carrying the younger child and a shopping basket, sweating as I walked, my older child asked, "Dad, do I not have to have children later?" Thinking it was a strange question, I didn’t look back and asked why. The child’s answer, "Because you look so tired," pierced my heart. It seemed to capture my shoulders drooping like wet cotton in the heat. I am waiting for the day when I can confidently answer my child, "No, you can have children. Things will get much better from now on."

This content was produced with the assistance of AI translation services.