[One Thousand Characters a Day] Professor Shin Ji-young's 'Language Sensitivity' Class＜5＞

Editor's NoteThe purposes of conversation are diverse. However, the most important purpose is to build relationships and strengthen the bonds of those relationships. Therefore, one-way communication is inappropriate. The reason enjoyable conversations strengthen the bonds of relationships is likely due to the attitude of mutual respect revealed through dialogue. When each other's existence is recognized equally, conversations can flow smoothly. Professor Shin Ji-young says, "The prerequisite for having enjoyable conversations is the belief that everyone has their own thoughts and that those thoughts are worth sharing." Word count: 988 characters.

If people do not speak in front of me, I must first identify the cause. Generally, two causes can be considered. Either I am a person with a large speaking authority, so others are cautious, or I am not an attractive person to speak with. If it is the former, I need to carefully observe the speaking situation as a person with speaking authority; if the latter, I need to strive to become a more attractive presence. It is important to remember that if I fail to carefully observe the speaking situation in the former case, I may become the latter type. To break the vicious cycle of monopolizing speaking rights that can occur when one gains speaking authority, it is necessary to observe the speaking situation more attentively. In particular, I must carefully check whether others feel safe speaking in front of me or not.

Many people emphasize the courtesy of 'listening attentively' in speaking. It is considered polite to listen carefully when someone speaks. Courtesy is not demanded only from one side but from both parties. However, attentive listening is the courtesy of the listener, not the speaker. It seems that we have only talked about the somewhat one-directional courtesy of 'listening attentively' as the courtesy of speaking.

Then, what is the courtesy of the speaker?

It is to give the person listening to me the opportunity to speak. If someone is listening carefully to my words in front of me, I should also listen carefully to that person's story. I must show the courtesy of attentive listening to those who show it to me. Then, I must give the other person the chance to speak. Giving the speaking right to the other person should be the courtesy that a speaker must have.

Monopolizing the right to speak is therefore considered rude to the other person. It is a one-sided demand for the courtesy of attentive listening from the other. We must remember that having the right to speak can easily mean becoming a rude person who monopolizes speaking rights. Therefore, the right to speak needs to be reinterpreted not as the right to speak but as the right to distribute speaking opportunities to others.

－Shin Ji-young, <Professor Shin Ji-young's Language Sensitivity Class>, Influential, 18,000 KRW

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