[Click! Health] Our Child's First Day of School... If They Don't Want to Be Separated from Parents

March is a month of mixed anticipation and worry for parents with children about to enter elementary school. Since children have to adapt to a completely new environment, working parents often consider one of them taking a leave of absence during this period.

On March 2nd last year, when the new semester began, first-grade freshmen were on their way to school for the first time at Gangbit Elementary School in Gangdong-gu, Seoul. Photo by Jinhyung Kang aymsdream@

One of the biggest concerns for parents of first graders is separation anxiety disorder. This condition involves severe anxiety about being separated from home or caregivers, accompanied by a 'fear of never seeing them again,' which makes it difficult for children to adjust to school or daily life. It is one of the common anxiety disorders seen in children under 12, affecting about 4% of all children. It frequently occurs around the ages of 7 to 8, when children first start school.

Children who are naturally sensitive, shy, or prone to nervousness often show anxiety when going to school for the first time and may cling to their parents. In many cases, these temporary anxiety symptoms disappear as the child adapts to school, but if a child refuses to go to school due to anxiety about separation from parents, leaves during class to go home, or frequently complains of feeling unwell, careful observation is necessary.

Professor Kim Hyowon of the Department of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry at Seoul Asan Medical Center explained, "Separation anxiety disorder may be due to a child's innate temperament and dependent personality, and if the parent has an anxious personality, the child often finds separation from the parent difficult." He added, "Research shows that children of parents with panic disorder or depression are more likely to develop separation anxiety disorder." He continued, "Parenting attitudes also affect separation anxiety disorder; when parents are overprotective or intrusive about behaviors the child can do independently, or when the attachment between parent and child is insecure, the risk of separation anxiety disorder increases."

On March 2nd last year, first-grade new students attended the entrance ceremony at Gangbit Elementary School in Gangdong-gu, Seoul. Photo by Jinhyung Kang aymsdream@

However, separation anxiety disorder is a condition that improves well with attention and treatment as the child develops the ability to manage their anxiety. If a child refuses to attend school, it is beneficial to practice gradually separating from the caregiver to help the child adapt. For example, during the first week, accompany the child to their classroom seat; the next week, stay at the classroom door; then in the hallway; and finally at the building entrance, gradually increasing the distance of separation.

Carrying an object that reminds the child of their parent or provides a sense of connection can also help manage anxiety. This could be a photo of mom or dad, or a doll. If the child feels reassured only by hearing their parent's voice, giving them a mobile phone and allowing calls when truly anxious can be helpful. However, it is important to regulate the number of calls and instruct the child to call only in appropriate situations. Since failed calls can worsen symptoms, it is also necessary to agree in advance on how to soothe anxiety in such cases.

Sometimes, parents themselves feel more anxious than the child. Instead of being restless and worried about how the child will manage at school, it is important for parents to calmly believe that the child will do well and to understand the child's anxious feelings. When parents wisely overcome their own anxiety, children model this behavior and learn to manage their own anxiety more effectively. Additionally, children feel reassured knowing that their parents fully understand and acknowledge their feelings.

If symptoms are severe or persist for a long time, play therapy can be helpful. Counseling that reassures the child and acknowledges their anxious feelings also aids symptom improvement. If separation between parent and child is difficult, family therapy may be necessary, and in very severe cases, medication such as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors may be required. Therefore, if anxiety is intense and prolonged, it is advisable to seek professional help.

This content was produced with the assistance of AI translation services.