[K-Women Talk] Empathy and Healing Must Come First

[Asia Economy] Something that should not have happened has happened again. At first, upon hearing the shocking news early on a holiday morning, I was at a loss, wondering what had happened and how such a thing could occur. I visited the joint memorial altar set up at Seoul City Hall to coincide with my daughter's finishing time at work. Placing a single chrysanthemum on the altar, I prayed for the souls who left without fulfilling their dreams. On the way back, my daughter said that those who were sacrificed this time belong to her generation, just like during the Sewol Ferry disaster, and that many of her generation’s friends were victims, which made her heartache. As a parent, I wanted to tell her that our pain is no less, but I just kept it in my heart.

An investigation is underway to determine the cause of the accident and assign responsibility, and discussions about countermeasures and institutional improvements are emerging. These are necessary steps to prevent recurrence and things that must be done. However, I feel that something important is missing: empathy for the grief of the victims and their families. Of course, many ordinary citizens voluntarily visit the memorial altar. But should the sorrow be left solely to the citizens? The news that the government issued guidelines to use the terms ‘accident’ instead of ‘disaster’ and ‘deceased’ instead of ‘victims’ must have caused the bereaved families further pain. Moreover, when asked why such terms were used, a public official’s response suggesting that the image of Itaewon as a world-class tourist destination might be tarnished must have left them even more devastated. Am I the only one who notices that among those in positions of responsibility, few express empathy and sorrow for that grief?

When I held my parents’ funerals, the comfort from many acquaintances was a great strength. Though ordinary words, sharing grief halves it. Overnight, 156 young people walking the streets lost their lives. If all citizens can feel that they share the pain and do not forget their sacrifice, it will be a great comfort to the bereaved families. I thought that outdoor electronic billboards along major roads could display messages of mourning and remembrance during the mourning period instead of just regular advertisements. More importantly, I believe that those in leadership positions should express empathy for the pain of the victims and their families. When they share and embrace their sorrow and grief, that pain can be healed, and social unity can be achieved.

The government is likely rushing to prepare countermeasures. When fundamental measures are prepared, the government’s usual response has been to create new systems and corresponding organizations. After the Sewol Ferry incident, the Ministry of the Interior and Safety created the position of Safety Headquarters Director (Vice Minister) overseeing safety and established a large organization with three divisions under it, but it played little role in this incident. Rather than hastily creating new systems and expanding government organizations every time a major accident occurs, wouldn’t it be better first to comfort the victims and share in their pain through a healing period? Then, calmly and meticulously, experts in the relevant fields could form committees to take time to examine each issue, creating administrative prevention manuals, manuals for field personnel to follow, and enhanced training plans for emergency response procedures. I believe this approach would be more effective.

Many remember former U.S. President Barack Obama singing ‘Amazing Grace’ and calling out the name of each victim at the memorial service for the Black victims of the mass shooting in Charleston, South Carolina. That was truly a time of healing and unity for everyone. What we need now is such a time.

Kim Kyung-sun, Former Vice Minister of Gender Equality and Family

This content was produced with the assistance of AI translation services.