[Book Sip] Kim Gyeoul's Record of Enduring 'That Time'

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This is a collection of essays by Kim Gyeoul, who is active as a reader, YouTuber, and radio DJ. It compiles writings published in various media such as 'Cine21,' 'Litter,' 'Jaum & Moeum,' and 'Seoul Review of Books' from 2016 to 2023. To preserve the original feeling at the time of contribution, minimal editing was done, and several unpublished manuscripts were also included. Since the writings were sporadically contributed to various media, they are not fitted into a single overarching theme. The author, who has published six books so far, described this as "the first book without a single sentence explaining the whole." In the preface, the author reflects on whether the writings will find their place but emphasizes that this is "the first book written solely as Kim Gyeoul." The reader is guided through the cold times of life, such as enduring university days while reflecting on Jin Eun-young’s poem 'University Days,' and “more than ten years of thinking about death every single day,” focusing on the warmth of books and writing.

Work and love ― Wow, writing it like this really feels like I’ve become an adult ― I wasn’t satisfied unless I pushed forward vigorously. If no one gave me work, I started it myself, and even if it meant abandoning myself entirely, I tried to give everything to the other person. Although I was betrayed multiple times by the work and love I trusted, I never regretted those decisions. Anyway, I always learned something when I returned. For example, the lesson that you shouldn’t blindly pour out your trust (yet I kept pouring out my trust helplessly). No matter how much a pendulum returns to its original position, if the pendulum itself is moving, it always starts anew when it returns. Just like the Earth orbiting the Sun begins each year from a different position due to the solar system’s movement. So even now, I push hard and fall hard every time. I am a pendulum that moves without regrets. - From “1991”

Until I chose philosophy as a double major in university, I always lingered around the periphery of the philosophical territory. Even while making music and writing, I thought I would study philosophy more someday. I wanted to dedicate myself to something greater than my life, and thus find a place to curl up within that grand festival of thought. The process of reading, thinking, researching, and writing philosophical texts was so ecstatic that I was willing to temporarily give up other possibilities in life, and the call of philosophy felt like an echo I could never shake off no matter what I did. - From “By Chance Graduate School”

I hope to live in a world of people who sincerely listen. A world where people pause their judgments, where they don’t try to impose their own images onto others’ lives, a world that acknowledges complexity. I want to listen to the long-winded words of those who don’t vanish suddenly after hearing just a three-line summary. I want to witness precious moments where each person’s story is not commodified. Of course, since time is money in capitalist society, we must acknowledge the existence of classical digests, “plot summaries including endings,” and “collections of refrains.” However, in a world where even listening to a friend’s words for more than three hours is rare, one of the few ways to avoid reducing ourselves to mere cogs in a machine is surely through artistic experiences. - From “The Ideal World of Listening”

With my favorite YouTube channel playing quietly, I closed my eyes and thought about what to put in tomorrow morning’s yogurt, suddenly feeling an absurd happiness. The fact that I can think about tomorrow morning’s yogurt without crying and self-harming, without waking up from auditory hallucinations, without tossing and turning unable to fall back asleep, without praying that tomorrow never comes, just lying still waiting for sleep that doesn’t come. That after enduring a long time that repeated like eternity, such a day finally came. I wish I could have told someone this. But today’s me knows that today came because I kept crying without knowing. - From “Someone Who Knows Life”

After graduation, as is known, I became a YouTuber who introduces books. On YouTube, I introduce literature, science, and humanities books. I introduce books on YouTube and give YouTube lectures to publishers. Perhaps it was this experience of confusion that allowed me not to be trapped within the boundaries of books and YouTube. I once wrote in an author introduction: “A person who stands between YouTube and books, between writing and music, between science and humanities, rejoicing in the vastness of the world.” I am very happy that this world is so vast, that seemingly completely different fields are deeply connected, and that all of it is human. - From “Memories of Confusion”

In other words, in some parts of life, I become somewhat entertaining. Even if the rest is boring, that can’t be helped. After turning thirty, I can’t suddenly enter an entertaining camp and receive entertaining training; I can only try to become a more nonchalant and relaxed person over the remaining decades. Even if I’m not funny among friends, I can laugh a lot, and among friends who like that, I can be someone who smiles a little brighter. If I smile brightly, my friends will smile brightly too. What else can I do? - From “Boring Person”

I know how precious the things I know about Shin-ae are. They are also an indelible record of my life. Our changing selves will remain like that too. Now we talk about how to reduce meat and single-use items. How to overcome gender discrimination. We support each other’s work and envision life at forty. We say we must live nearby by then. Our lives will continue, supporting and proudly standing by each other. I also think that this is just how life is lived. If I live diligently, imagining ten years later and another ten years later with such reliable friends, I have a feeling life will naturally end beautifully. - From “Our Times”

Winter’s Language | Written by Kim Gyeoul | Woongjin Knowledge House | 260 pages | 18,500 KRW

This content was produced with the assistance of AI translation services.