[A Sip of a Book] How to Deal with Rude People

Editor's NoteSome sentences encapsulate the entire content of a book, while others instantly resonate with the reader’s heart, creating a connection with the book. Here, we excerpt and introduce such meaningful sentences from books.

In life, we encounter boundary-crossing people everywhere. Bosses who impose unreasonable workloads and schedules and steal work achievements, lovers who treat you like an emotional trash bin under the guise of love, parents who interfere and obsess over their children “for your own good,” and colleagues who take advantage of your kindness when you generously pay for meals or coffee... The author provides very useful coping strategies to protect yourself flexibly and firmly in various places and situations such as the workplace, school, and home. These are methods practiced and applied in daily life with many clients who visited the author’s counseling room, yielding effective results. The book is systematically structured to faithfully reflect the psychological counseling process with an expert. It consists of three stages: sharing your personal concerns about relationships, receiving professional advice, and obtaining tailored prescriptions.

Protecting yourself first in any relationship is the most important thing. But even those who know this well often fail to do so. The main reason is often a lack of clear understanding of your own and the other person’s personality structure and the dynamics of the relationship. If you find yourself unusually indecisive in relationships, continuously suffering losses while living as a “nice person,” you first need to understand yourself. You also need to accurately recognize the patterns and dynamics of the person who makes you suffer. Then, you build a boundary. - p.38 (Prologue)

When pressure mounts, try expressing your true desires little by little. It doesn’t have to be something big. Practice voicing your opinions starting with small things when someone asks. If you haven’t spoken up for a long time, you may need a lot of practice. Deciding on a menu or choosing a place to visit during a trip are good examples. If you have been saying, “I like everything. Anything is fine,” put your hand on your heart and reflect on whether that is really true. By trying little by little like this, you will eventually be able to express what you genuinely want and desire better. - p.71 (Why I Wore the Mask of a Good Child ① Pressure)

The novel A Song of Ice and Fire by George R.R. Martin gained tremendous popularity in North America and was adapted into a drama, making it quite well-known domestically as well. Let’s pay attention to the title of this novel. Ice and fire are opposites, yet they sing a song together! It is a brilliant phrase containing contradiction and harmony. Similarly, there are many things that seem incompatible at first glance but strangely fit together. (...) But what about reality? While exploring many people’s very close friends or lovers, I sometimes find that the levels of their relational needs differ greatly. I have also witnessed many intense conflicts arising because of this. There is a gap between the fictional world and the real world. Can ice and fire really meet and sing together? - p.95 (Types That Hurt ① The Cold Ice Type with Low Relational Needs)

How to Deal with Rude People | Written by Heonju Lee | Huddling Books | 252 pages | 18,000 KRW

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