[Seo Mideum's Book Review] By the Standards of Mental Illness, Everyone Is a Patient

[Asia Economy Reporter Seomibeum] Seonhye studied hard aiming for her desired university. However, her grades made it difficult to guarantee acceptance. People around her advised her to apply to lower-tier schools, and she eventually gave in. To make matters worse, even her college life was tough. Raised in a devout Christian family, she stayed away from alcohol, but seniors offered her Makgeolli in basketball shoes. During a time of political turmoil when protests were rampant on campus, professors scolded students in classrooms, saying, “Outside the school gates, your friends are bleeding, so what are you doing?” She wanted to transfer to another school, but her family didn’t take it seriously, and one day Seonhye began exhibiting strange behavior. She repeatedly spoke incomprehensible words alone and wandered barefoot around the neighborhood on rainy days. Even then, her family should have taken her to a hospital, but instead, they led her to church, where the pastor declared, “She is possessed by a spirit.” Thus, Seonhye was neglected, and her family devoted themselves only to prayer.

Ten years passed like this. Seonhye became violent, often charging at her family with a knife. Eventually, the police were called and took her to a psychiatric hospital. The doctor diagnosed her with a severe condition involving both depression and schizophrenia. Her older brother, who had struggled with guilt while caring for her for a long time, became a pastor. Not a pastor who hastily prescribes ‘prayer therapy,’ but one who acknowledges psychiatric treatment. This is Paul Kim, author of the book Very Normal Sick People (Mareummo).

Having been with families of mentally ill patients for 25 years, he shares various cases and healing methods. One key point is parental awakening. Parents naturally want to give a lot to their children, but surprisingly, many parents care deeply about appearances, he testifies. He explains, “Even if they realize their child is abnormal, they neglect them for years,” because “a diagnosis of abnormality damages their pride.” Especially parents with strong narcissistic tendencies ignore advice that simply acknowledging their child’s illness is enough. They usually blame the individual, saying, “It’s a personality problem,” or “They just haven’t experienced hardship.”

The “500 years of Confucian face culture” still exists even across the ocean in the United States. The author says, “Because of the perception that ‘a sick child is a family disgrace,’ the suicide rate among Koreans in LA’s Koreatown is four times higher than other ethnic groups.” People with mental illness often cannot shout, “It’s not my fault, please save me,” but instead, mental disorders appear in these ‘good’ people who cannot do so. The author says, “Mental illness often affects good and smart young people. They cannot release stress, hatred, or anger toward others, so they endure everything themselves until brain dysfunction occurs. Evil people do not get mental illness. Evil people pass all that stress onto pure people, making them sick while they survive.”

So how did the author change these people? The secret is ‘being together.’ He emphasizes, “This is not a problem solved by treatment methods or medication,” but “sharing the pain, spending time together, and listening beside them is important.” Concurrent treatment is also crucial. Recognizing the illness through medical care and showing “genuine love” in that state is key. Usually, mentally ill people “read all the nuances of others.”

The author says, “According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), there is no person without mental illness. The difference is whether they take medication or not.” He introduces ways to survive together in this vast ‘mental illness ward.’ He stresses that forming a ‘therapeutic human relationship’ is above all important.

Very Normal Sick People | Paul Kim & Kim Injong | Mareummo | 340 pages | 18,000 KRW

This content was produced with the assistance of AI translation services.