[W Forum] Let's Apply Ointment to the Wounds in Our Hearts

Writer Kim Su-young

What if your heart is filled with anger, depression, or irritation? It could be due to wounds inflicted by someone else or mistakes you made in the past. If just thinking about a certain person makes your teeth chatter and your heart sink, if you find it unbearable to even breathe under the same sky as someone, if you are annoyed with your own hesitation, or if you are unable to do anything for fear of getting hurt again, then it is time to detoxify our hearts.

First, let’s look at the wounds caused by others. More often than someone deliberately using or betraying you, it is a careless word that causes the hurt. Words have the power to create and destroy people, as the words we exchange seep into our subconscious and influence our thinking. Yet many people unknowingly hurt and get hurt by others through words. Carelessly spoken words or words thrown out in anger, and sometimes selfish actions without consideration for others, can leave lifelong scars for someone.

So, think about this. Did that person really say those words to torment me? Perhaps it is not the words themselves, but the 'story' I created based on those words that is tormenting me. Is that person so important to me that they control my life, or am I such an insignificant being that I live a lifetime suffering over a single word from them? Let me, the most important person to myself, now say what I truly want to hear. And declare to myself: this is who I am, and this is the kind of life I will live.

Second, let’s examine the wounds received from the people closest to us?our family. I receive emails every day with various stories. The longest ones are almost autobiographies from those deeply wounded by family. Since family shares the most important growth process in life, their influence is immense, and the relationship with them fundamentally defines who I am, so the wounds are deep. Because they are so close, we often exchange even greater wounds with family through words.

Not only their words but their very existence can be a source of pain. No matter how close the bond, when different people live together, conflicts are inevitable. So let go of the thought, "Why is it only our family like this?" What I thought "should be" was just an 'ideal' drawn in my heart, and I cannot live a lifetime suffering because reality does not match that ideal. If your family causes so much pain that it would be better if they didn’t exist, then keep as much distance from them as possible. After achieving financial independence, focus on inner healing. You cannot choose your family, but you can choose your life.

Third, perhaps the biggest wound in your heart is none other than yourself. Everyone makes foolish mistakes in life. What matters is to be more forgiving to yourself and to forgive yourself. Those who blame and criticize themselves tend to be harsh and critical of others as well. It is necessary to look deeply into your own heart.

A 10,000 won bill does not lose its value just because it falls into muddy water. But the moment you tear it up or burn it because it is dirty, the 10,000 won disappears. No matter what you have been through, you are a precious person and deserve to live the best life. If the bitterness in your heart does not fade, stroke the center of your chest up and down with both hands and speak to your heart: "I’m sorry, it was my fault. I will forgive now. It’s okay, everything is okay." The bruises on your chest will ease a little.

Writer Kim Su-young

This content was produced with the assistance of AI translation services.