[Namsan Stroll] I Am Not a Destructive Person

The drama "Everyone Is Fighting Their Own Worthlessness"
A self-rescue found in worrying about others
'Schadenfreude': Smiling at others' misfortune
Beginning with self-hatred, leading to anxiety and isolation
Experiences of respect evolve int

The Japanese humanities scholar Ayumu Yasutomi defines the concept of the "destructive human" in his book "A Solid Life" as follows: “Instead of perceiving others as they truly are, such a person conveniently assigns them to a category from a prearranged classification table that suits their own preferences. They believe that imposing an image useful to themselves onto others is, in fact, the essence of human relationships.”

According to this view, a destructive human treats others solely as objects to be used for their own benefit. They force their desired image onto others, thereby undermining the dignity of those around them.

The much-discussed drama "Everyone Is Fighting Their Own Worthlessness" features a protagonist, Hwang Dongman (played by Koo Kyo-hwan), who suspects himself of being a destructive human. For over 20 years, he has dreamed of becoming a film director, but repeated failures have left him full of a victim mentality and emotional instability. Although he has long-time friends by his side, he cannot celebrate their successes. Instead, he finds joy in the failures, accidents, and despair of others.

Drama 'Everyone Is Fighting Their Own Worthlessness' still cut. JTBC

There is a word in German—"Schadenfreude"—which refers to the feeling of pleasure at someone else’s misfortune. Hwang Dongman experiences Schadenfreude and describes himself as a destructive human. He is considered destructive because he rejoices in the despair of others, torments his friends, and demands that they listen to him.

Yasutomi argues that this destructive attitude is related to "narcissism." While narcissism may seem like self-love, it actually begins with "self-hatred." Self-hatred is the inability to accept oneself as one truly is. Hwang Dongman cannot acknowledge or respect himself and, as a result, sometimes intentionally hurts himself in an effort at self-destruction. Narcissism that begins with self-hatred leads to anxiety and eventually isolation.

Yet, there is a moment when Hwang Dongman, buried in anxiety and loneliness, exclaims, “I am not a destructive human!”—a moment of genuine joy that arises when he is concerned for someone else. In the story, he witnesses PD Byun Euna (played by Ko Yoon-jung), with whom he has developed a friendship, nearly get into a car accident. He rushes over, and upon confirming that she is safe, he is relieved—and then suddenly startled. He realizes that he is not simply a destructive person who delights in the misfortune of others, but someone capable of caring about another person.

Yasutomi presents "benevolence" as the opposite of narcissism, describing it as “a state in which one does not dislike oneself.” He argues that if one wishes to form true friendships, one must first not dislike oneself. Only then can a person relate to others not through destructive attitudes, but through creative ones—becoming what he calls a "creative human." Such a person is someone who forms relationships by respecting not only themselves but also others.

In the moments when Hwang Dongman meets Byun Euna, he becomes a creative human. By listening to each other’s stories, they come to better understand themselves. Byun Euna, who has also long struggled with self-inflicted pain, gains confidence in the world after meeting Hwang Dongman. Together, they shape each other’s attitudes and move forward. As Yasutomi writes, “To overcome self-hatred, you need courage, and that courage can be found with friends.” They learn the courage to respect themselves while standing up to the world. Isolation is not something to be overcome alone; it is gradually eased through experiences of being respected and by finding the courage to respect others.

Jiwoo Jung, Cultural Critic and Attorney

This content was produced with the assistance of AI translation services.