"You Didn't Send a Congratulatory Gift" A Text from a Former Colleague 5 Years Ago

"5 Years Is Plenty" vs "If You Receive and Don't Pay, It's Mukjji"
Debate Over Gift Money Culture Amid Social Changes

Recently, debates about congratulatory money and guest culture have been ongoing online due to rising meal costs and household burdens. A story about someone receiving criticism for attending a boss’s wedding with their spouse and giving 100,000 won as congratulatory money raised questions about what constitutes appropriate ceremonial norms.

Meanwhile, netizens are divided over a story shared by an office worker who received a message from a colleague retired for over five years, demanding congratulatory money for their child's wedding, which had not been sent.

On the 4th, office worker A posted on X (formerly Twitter), "A person who retired over five years ago sent individual KakaoTalk messages to those who did not send congratulatory money for their child’s wedding," sharing a screenshot of the message.

A worker received a message from a former colleague who retired over five years ago, saying that they had not sent a congratulatory gift for their child's wedding and should send it. This story has divided public opinion among netizens.
[Photo by Kim Dahee]

According to the message posted by A, retiree B said, "I completed my child’s wedding (9/23) last month and would like to write a few words about congratulatory money and human relationships, hoping for your understanding."

B stated, "The dictionary definition of congratulatory money is a give-and-take, a concept of mutual support," adding, "Based on my participation in celebrations and condolences over the past 10 years, 53% did not respond with congratulatory money for my child’s wedding."

B continued, "Considering the aspect of mutual aid, your household likely falls into one of the following two cases: First, you were unaware of the event and thus could not send congratulatory money; if you join belatedly, I would appreciate it. Second, if you knew about the event but chose not to participate, there is nothing I can do, but I will only remember your name."

Finally, B mentioned having sent 50,000 won as congratulatory money when A got married and included their bank account number at the end. A revealed that they sent the same amount of 50,000 won back to B but expressed feeling upset.

On the 4th, office worker A posted on X (formerly Twitter), "A person who retired over five years ago sent a KakaoTalk message to each person who did not give congratulatory money for their child's wedding," and shared a screenshot of the message.
[Photo source=Online community]

A said, "It’s not about whether to give money or not. When contacting about celebrations and condolences, sending only a mobile invitation from an unknown number without any message was rude, no matter how old the person is," adding, "I felt upset from that moment, and when I received a threatening message saying ‘If you don’t give money, I will remember your name,’ I got really angry."

A continued, "If they had just sent a simple message asking how I was when sending the invitation, or expressed it more kindly with an apology for the delay, I would have congratulated their child’s wedding."

Netizens who saw this reacted with comments like, "I’ve never seen someone so calculating," and "This kind of give-and-take celebration culture without genuine congratulations should disappear."

On the other hand, some netizens sympathized with B’s position, saying, "Even if retired, it’s right to take care of those who helped you," "If you received something, not giving back is like freeloading," "They must have been really desperate," and "They seem to be facing financial difficulties."

Office Workers Attend Celebrations and Condolences 1.6 Times per Month on Average... Amount Spent is 73,300 Won

According to a survey of 435 people by the job platform Saramin, 74.3% of office workers considered attending celebrations and condolences essential for managing personal networks.

The average number of such events attended per month was 1.6, with an average spending of 73,000 won each time. This amounts to about 1.4 million won annually.

Some point out that as diverse family types such as singlehood and DINK couples (dual-income, no kids) increase, changes are needed in the culture of exchanging congratulatory money.

This content was produced with the assistance of AI translation services.