[Book Sip] Even If I Dislike You, "Still, I Want to Get Along Well with You"

Some sentences encapsulate the entire content of the book itself, while others instantly reach the reader’s heart, creating a connection with the book. Here, we introduce meaningful sentences excerpted from the book. - Editor’s note

This is a full-fledged practical guide on human relationships, written by a coaching expert who is the director of Korea’s largest coaching company, Coaching Management Institute, and has long operated the human relationship counseling podcast ‘Gwan-gye Daemyeongsa.’ Drawing on over 2,500 hours of counseling more than 3,000 people, the author, a psychology major and professional coach, offers clear solutions to common but awkward questions encountered in social life. The book covers everything from classic human relationship issues such as how to set appropriate relational boundaries, how to wisely cope with breakups, how to refuse tactfully, and how to communicate flexibly with others, to practical matters like how to properly calculate congratulatory and condolence money, how to be considerate without stress, how to handle work calls well, and how to get out of unwanted gossip.

Have you ever tried hard to show only a strong, perfect side because you feared people would be disappointed if they saw your vulnerable side? Surprisingly, research has revealed that the weaknesses and fragility you have tried to hide are actually key to increasing intimacy in relationships. There is a psychological term called the ‘Pratfall Effect’ or ‘Mistake Effect.’ This concept, proposed by American psychologist Elliot Aronson, suggests that people feel compassion and humanity toward those who make mistakes or show flaws, which increases their likability. (...) So, don’t forget: the courage to show your true self is the greatest driving force that connects you with others.

"Work may be hard, but I don’t want to suffer because of people!" To uphold this, we try to get along reasonably well with everyone. However, inevitably, in social life, we encounter people who don’t match with us or whom we cannot understand. The more pressure you feel to get along with everyone, the more you may question whether your social skills are lacking and feel guilty. But discard the guilt and regret over not getting along with all colleagues. When you eliminate guilt, you can focus more on your work and spend less emotional energy on uncomfortable people. The core of workplace relationships is recognizing that, regardless of personal liking, you must cooperate with others as partners working toward the company’s goals.

Even in good relationships, there are times when you feel drained or encounter unpleasant situations. At such times, we tend to blame our condition and try to pretend we are okay, but then repeat the same experience. Without consciously trying to understand, we do not know exactly what we want or do not want. Therefore, set your own boundary principles in each area. It is good to know your emotional limits in advance by considering what you can accept and what makes you uncomfortable.

Still, I Want to Get Along with You | Written by Yoon Seo-jin | Moonye Publishing | 376 pages | 15,000 KRW

This content was produced with the assistance of AI translation services.