[SSG nudge Leadership] "This is a mess, what will happen?","I scored 92, what about Dad?"

-Sitting together on the sofa, continuing the conversation with memes-

“Dad came home early!”, “Yeah, to watch a drama,” the three family members exchange glances and smile. “How do you think that makjang drama will unfold?” they also ask.

While watching a trot singing contest, I said, “That deserves a 92,” and my daughter replied, “I give it 95,” while my wife said, “No! I give it 89.” They also ask why they gave those scores. The conversation continues like that.

As COVID-19 dragged on, this became a new scene in our home that we had never seen before. My daughter’s telecommuting increased, and even when she went to work, she often came home early. I also reduced dinners and meetings a lot. Sometimes I used social distancing as an excuse to come home early. I was curious about the drama’s development. Naturally, this led to more opportunities for the family to sit together on the sofa facing the TV.

Nagging and Being a Kkondae

Having worked in HR and training for a long time and done lectures and consulting, many important life principles have become my beliefs. Because of that, I tend to nag a lot about the behavior and lifestyle of my kids and students. I have thought of this as my role as I get older. It’s from the idea of making an effort to help them become competitive people in society. However, given the current times, I try to minimize talking at work but sometimes deliver one-sided conversations at home. Occasionally, I raise my voice and scold, hurting the feelings of my grown children. The assumption that they understand me well is the root of the problem.

The water has spilled. Even when I try to ease the awkward atmosphere, it doesn’t work. Waiting for the kids to approach me first is even more hopeless.

Finding a Way Through Cultural Genes

At this time, the “makjang drama” or “trot contest” that the family watches together becomes a small motif. It is used as an opportunity to restore relationships by exchanging words and easing awkwardness. I slip into the sofa where they are sitting. I also talk about the parts they find interesting. I even tease one or two drama characters with words.

This method is based on content introduced in the book The Selfish Gene by British evolutionary biologist Richard Dawkins. It refers to the concept of a “cultural gene,” and the term “meme” is a shortened form of the Greek word “mimene,” meaning to imitate. Cultural evolution occurs through the “smallest unit of culture transmission.”

Applying this means that when you see someone sharing the same cultural gene as yourself, emotional leadership that quickly opens the door to the heart is demonstrated. Sharing the same song, the same terms, the same clothing, the same hat, or even the same gestures as cultural genes accelerates a sense of belonging. Then, creating opportunities for logical and rational dialogue or empathy enables effective relationship building. Metacognitive psychology explains that in the hunting era, people developed the ability to quickly distinguish friend from foe because they had to band together with the same tribe to survive fights with predators or other tribes. Judging a sense of belonging through visible cultural genes is more powerful for survival than rational explanations.

“Step aside, Kkondae”

The makjang drama was useful as a tool of cultural genes. The trot music acts as a cultural gene, facilitating communication and making everyone stand on the “same side.” It is a method often used at home, in the office, and on the podium. Saying “I’m on the same side too. Let’s play together” opens the door to the heart, and then I share my life views or nagging. This shows some improvement.

Park Chang-wook, CEO of Korea Knowledge Leader Association (Secretary General of Daewoo World Management Research Association)

◆ What is 'Nudge Leadership'?

- 'Nudge Leadership' is not a coercive or directive oppressive method but leads organizational or personal change through small and gentle interventions or motivation. It also means improving human relationships through small changes in oneself and transforming into a person others want to follow. Ultimately, it breathes creativity and passion into organizations or relationships, creating new value and happiness.

This content was produced with the assistance of AI translation services.