[Haruchunja] Until the Last Day of Life <2>

Editor's NoteHong Sin-ja crossed over to the United States at the age of twenty-six in 1966, despite her family's objections. To her, America was a place where she could try anything and achieve anything, a symbol of dreams and freedom. Driven by a burning desire to live freely, liberated from constraints, she found dance by chance and fate in the land of opportunity she sought. She presented the dance ＜Jerye＞, which embodied the grief of her elder sister who passed away at a young age. Beginning with a mournful wail, the piece concludes with slowly combing long hair, burning paper in a brazier, and extinguishing a candle. This work received high praise in the local dance community and propelled her to success. It also sparked great attention domestically, drawing the largest audience ever for an avant-garde art performance. Word count: 869 characters.

Through ＜Jerye＞ and ＜Migung＞, I was emotionally healed and became free. At that time, I poured out all the sadness and laughter I had with all my heart. Holding back tears causes illness. When you want to cry, you must go somewhere alone and cry your heart out. The same goes for laughter. You must go out to the field and laugh your heart out. So that nothing accumulates in your chest.

If only we could escape from emotions, there would be no pain in life. If only we could transcend sensation and consciousness to reach a state of emotionlessness. However, deliberately trying to suppress emotions to become free from them is a mistaken idea. Emotions are closer to results than causes. No matter how much you try to reverse the results of certain events, as long as the causes remain the same, the results will inevitably be the same. I want to say that failing to find the root cause and only focusing on the emotions that appear as results, trying to suppress and shake them off, is worse than being swept away by them. Emotions are not something that can be physically shaken off, and the more you become obsessed with the idea that you must escape from them, the more your suffering intensifies.

I sought freedom from emotions through the method of releasing (放?) them. By completely surrendering myself to the emotions arising in my heart, I let the emotions unravel freely. Not judging them as they should be this way or that way, but simply letting them go. By doing so, I was able to become free from them.

It is okay to be sad. So there is no need to fear when something sad happens. It is okay to be happy. When something joyful happens, there is no need to worry unnecessarily. No matter what emotion arises, it does not matter, so you do not have to suffer because of it. Just cry if you are sad, laugh if you are happy. See things as they are, let them be as they arise, and simply nod your head?that is all.

- Hong Sin-ja, ＜Until the Last Day of Life＞, Dasan Books, 17,500 KRW

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