[Current & Culture] My Wife Said She Wanted to Travel Alone

Published 30 Dec.2022 11:34(KST)

Not long ago, my wife said she was going on a 1-night, 2-day trip to Tongyeong with her high school classmates. Well, to be precise, she asked if it would be okay for her to go. Although we have been married for 10 years, she had hardly ever spent time outside the house alone. She always had to take care of our two children, aged nine and six, wherever she was. Her day revolved around meals, clothes, sleep, Hangul, and numbers. Whenever we decided to go somewhere to eat, she chose places where the kids could eat. Whenever we planned to go somewhere to see something, she chose places the kids could enjoy. I asked her what she wanted to eat or see, but instead of answering, she got annoyed. It was as if such things were not supposed to exist.

So when she said she wanted to stay out overnight with her classmates, I was happy. I told her several times to go anywhere she wanted because I would take care of the kids. I told her that the word “trip” was such a welcome one and that I would watch the kids, so she should have a good time. However, the trip was just two weeks away, and I had a lecture at a library about 300 km away from home. My wife became the primary caregiver partly because of my job. I live mainly as a writer during the day and a speaker at night. Since writing and lecturing are my work, I never really know where or with whom I will be.

Although I told her to have a good trip, I was at a loss. The time she would be traveling was Saturday morning at our house in Gangneung, and I had a lecture in Daejeon on Saturday afternoon. For nearly 10 hours, the two kids would have to be alone at home. Since we had just moved to Gangneung, there was no one to ask to watch the kids for such a long time. The only option was for me to take the kids to Daejeon on Saturday morning, book accommodation near the library, let them play games for a couple of hours, give my lecture, and then go see them again. But our nine-year-old eldest child was the type who would get lonely even if we left the house for a moment, opening the door and wandering around looking for mom and dad.

I wanted to ask the library staff if there was somewhere I could leave the kids during the two hours I was working. I didn’t, fearing I might seem overly particular, but I imagined what it would be like if I were a single parent. From 9 a.m. to 1:30 p.m., or until 6 p.m. when the kids would return from kindergarten and Taekwondo class, I wouldn’t be able to go anywhere to work except near home. Once, I was asked to give a lecture to a writer who was raising a child alone. Since the conditions were good, I thought he would gladly accept. But he said he couldn’t because of his child. He lived a life of sending the child to kindergarten, teaching part-time at university, and then picking up the child again, so if no one could watch the child during the evening, it was difficult. Eventually, someone else gave that lecture.

It’s not just one person moving. In households with young children, one person’s movement requires the whole family to be mobilized. Wouldn’t it be good if libraries, community centers, or any public institutions operated time-based childcare services? Someone would surely benefit, and the person who came with the children would at least eat a meal and spend a little more money in the area.

My wife adjusted her trip with friends to Sunday and went on a one-day trip. I just hope she can become someone who can travel more often.