[Namsan Ddalggakbari] What Happened When an Introvert Lived as an Extrovert for One Year...

[Asia Economy Reporter Seomideum] Seeking solitude, focusing well, and finding long social activities exhausting. Not always, but generally shy and sensitive. Prefers one-on-one conversations over group chats. Keeps colleagues at a distance using excuses about nonexistent appointments. Gains energy by being alone or meditating. Does this resonate? If so, you are a shy introvert.

Introverts often think there is a "problem" with themselves. A flaw to be overcome but considered a persistent nuisance like "inflammation on the skin." The author of Now I'm Going Out to Meet People, who majored in psychology at Brown University and earned a master's degree in journalism at the Royal Melbourne Institute of Technology, is no different. She is so introverted that she shed tears of fear rather than joy when seeing friends gathered to celebrate her birthday. This book depicts her experience living as an extrovert for one year.

One day, she suddenly realized her life had hit rock bottom. She quit her job and became unemployed, with no clear plan for what to do next. She lost motivation, felt depressed, and lonely. It is commonly thought that introverts do not feel loneliness easily, but that is a misconception. Although they gain energy when alone and cannot endure long periods of stimulation from many people, introverts have a strong desire to meet someone who truly understands them. The sense of unfulfilled loneliness was great. Change was necessary.

According to psychologist Stephan G. Hofmann, human existence inherently involves anxiety. Humans constantly fear being rejected by the majority group. There is a way to overcome this: exposure therapy. Exposure therapy involves repeatedly exposing oneself to the "worst-case scenario" where rejection is certain, to achieve psychological stability. For example, singing loudly on the street, approaching strangers on the subway to ask for money, or going to a crowded place and spilling a cup of coffee on oneself every day. "In short, imagine your worst nightmare."

The author chose to go out on the street and randomly ask people the name of the British queen. Occasionally, she received strange answers like "Victoria" (the British queen is Elizabeth II), but the worst-case scenario never happened. She also talked to people while waiting in line to buy coffee. She asked, "Do you think it will snow this year?" or suddenly said to a lady, "I'm just trying to have some coffee." What was the result? Casual "chit-chat" naturally followed the questions without answers. She talked about Brexit with a French person she met for the first time at a sushi restaurant and even suddenly joined a grandmother and granddaughter playing twenty questions on the bus.

The author says, "The actual proportion of people who actively participated in the conversation was almost 100%. In fact, everyone wanted to talk," and adds, "(Not receiving a response) is not typical." She advises, "When you feel lethargic and invisible, lost and wandering in your own world, the cheapest and easiest way to feel better and happier is to talk to a stranger."

Behavioral scientist Nicholas Epley offers similar advice. In today's isolated world, if an atmosphere where people easily talk and converse is created, small connections between people will increase, and our society can become happier.

Encouraged, the author appeared on a broadcast where ordinary people share their stories and stood before the public. She fought against a deep-rooted evolutionary instinct born from the fear of being rejected for standing out in a group. Although she spent sleepless nights worrying, she ultimately completed the stage successfully. Thus, her 32-year-old stage fright diminished.

Psychologist Brian R. Little says personality is not fixed and is not determined solely by nature or upbringing. Personality can change anytime as a result of behavior. The author warns, "This idea will overturn previous fixed notions about human personality ingrained in our minds."

So, did the author completely transform into an extrovert? No. She confesses she still lives as an introvert. She repeatedly steps forward and then back, still feeling fear standing before the public. But now she realizes that this is not necessarily an obstacle and knows she is not someone who needs to change. She also encourages readers to try living as an extrovert at least once.

Now I'm Going Out to Meet People | Written by Jessica Fan | Translated by Jo Kyung-sil | Bookie | 456 pages | 16,800 KRW

This content was produced with the assistance of AI translation services.