"My Daughter Is So Missed" Father’s Anguish in 'Incheon Middle School Girl Sexual Assault and Suicide Case' [Interview]

16-Year-Old Female Middle School Student in 2018, Extreme Choice Due to Suffering from Sexual Assault and Other Harms
Supreme Court Confirms Original Verdict Sentencing Perpetrator Students Guilty on the 12th
Bereaved Family "Healing Wounds Not Possible with Just One Judgment Document"

A's father always carries A's student ID with him. It was also with him on the day of the Supreme Court ruling on the 12th. Photo by So Young Kim sozero815@asiae.co.kr

[Asia Economy Reporter Kim Soyoung] "I'm still stuck in 2018, but can I make my family live in 2021?"

The Supreme Court ruling on the case known as the 'Incheon Middle School Girl Sexual Assault and Suicide Case' was held on the morning of the 12th at 10:15 a.m. in Supreme Court Courtroom No. 1. On that day, the Supreme Court dismissed the defendant's appeal and confirmed the second trial verdict.

In July 2018, Ms. A (then 16 years old) jumped to her death from her room on the third floor, taking her own life. After Ms. A's death, it was revealed that she had suffered sexual assault and other abuses before making the extreme choice.

There were three perpetrators brought to trial: B (18), a student from another high school, who sexually harassed Ms. A; C (16), a classmate who knew about this and threatened her, then sexually assaulted her; and D (17), who was C's boyfriend at the time and, enraged by the situation, posted sexually defamatory messages on social media (SNS).

In the first trial held last February, B was sentenced to 5 years as the upper limit and 3 years and 6 months as the lower limit for the charge of sexual molestation by deception; C was sentenced to 6 years upper limit and 4 years lower limit for rape; and D was sentenced to 4 months imprisonment with a 1-year probation for defamation.

However, B and C, who were sentenced to prison and detained after the first trial, appealed claiming innocence and were released on bail in October last year. In the appeal trial held in May, B was sentenced to 3 years imprisonment, C to 5 years upper limit and 3 years and 6 months lower limit, and D's sentence remained the same as the first trial. As a result, B and C were re-detained in court.

Our publication has continuously provided follow-up reports for the past four years since the incident occurred. Immediately after the Supreme Court ruling, we met with Ms. A's father to discuss the hardships during the trial process and the lives of the remaining family members. On the 12th, when the Supreme Court verdict was announced, the pain and emotional wounds suffered by Ms. A and her family were not resolved by a single sheet of the judgment paper. The following is a Q&A with the bereaved family (father).

Room of the deceased Ms. A. Photo by family

- How have you been since the interview last February?

▲ My time is still frozen in 2018. Recently, I have been trying to connect that time (2018) a bit more, but only when I am with someone do I have the leisure to talk. When I am alone, I really cannot stop thinking about my daughter. I still cry when I am alone. It feels like a repetitive life.

- What was the hardest part during this process?

▲ What I felt most deeply was that I wish the state institutions would fulfill their fundamental purpose. Because the police did not properly perform their role, I had to prove the damage myself. The victim could have been just my daughter, but I was stuck on this, and I could hardly maintain my economic life. Also, my family did not even know how this death happened, and we could not even talk about it, so the wounds in our hearts just deepened.

Also, I want to say that I hope the lawyers' attitudes change to focus strictly on the crime. During the trial, the defendant's lawyers attacked us personally by bringing up family discord and my daughter's sexual promiscuity. This secondary victimization was very severe.

They made my family and daughter look like people who could not maintain a proper family life. If we tried to rebut or raise our voices, we feared the judge might issue a ruling unfavorable to my daughter, so we endured it for her sake. I hope they do not use such outdated methods to prove the defendant's innocence. Honestly, I was deeply hurt by that.

If the defendants' human rights are important, then who will protect the human rights of the victim who died unjustly? I think that is really unfair. The defendants have a bright future ahead and receive sentence reductions, but my daughter did not have a bright future because she took her own life. So, it seems the system only favors the living.

In July 2018, A (16), who suffered from sexual assault and other abuses at a middle school in Michuhol-gu, Incheon, died after jumping from the third-floor room of an apartment. Photo by family members

- Now that the legal judgment has been finalized today, how do you feel?

▲ On one hand, I think the court somewhat recognized my daughter's injustice, but then what? My daughter is not coming back. This emptiness is really something I cannot handle. A single judgment paper cannot heal such deep wounds in the heart. Whether civil or criminal, if my daughter came back, I would do anything. But those parts cannot be filled.

- I imagine the emptiness will feel even greater now that the long fight has ended.

▲ Yes, it has to be that way. I am trying to cope with that, but I don't know. The next step for me is an administrative lawsuit, and most acquaintances say it won't be easy. I think I need to prepare carefully. After this part ends, I think the emptiness will hit me even harder. I haven't relaxed yet.

- I remember you said in the last interview that you only wished to bring your daughter back.

▲ It's one or the other. Either she comes back, or I go to meet her. I don't know what will happen in that process. Scars remain where wounds have been. No matter how much new skin grows. I don't know how to cover the scars as much as possible. Actually, from the beginning of the case, the psychiatrist advised me to get inpatient treatment. But I don't understand my emotions well, and neither does my wife or son. We don't know what to do. I think I have a path to go forward, so I will keep going for a while, but I have to take care of my family too. Honestly, I have no confidence. I lost the meaning of life... Before, I took good care of my health thinking I had to stay healthy until my children grew up and became independent, but now I wonder if there is any reason to take care of my health. Losing the will to live is the biggest problem.

- When do you miss your daughter the most?

▲ She was always there in daily life. My daughter was the best at handling advanced devices in the house, so if there was a problem with my phone, I would say, "Dad, please fix this," and she would always handle it. Now, there is no one who can do that. This is a very simple example, but I really cannot escape the traces my daughter left behind. I wonder if it is right for the family to get over this quickly or if my holding on is just my selfishness. I have many such thoughts.

- Have you had enough conversations about the accumulated wounds among family members?

▲We need to resolve that quickly, but we haven't talked much about the hardships. Recently, I went on a trip alone with my son, but we couldn't talk at all. I couldn't bring myself to talk. Originally, in 2018, the family planned to go on a trip together. I was busy for about two years and couldn't take a vacation, but after this incident, I only took my son on a trip.

I don't know how to resolve this going forward. Should I just tell my son plainly that his sister was harmed and what happened? Should I tell him how I feel? If I do, those emotions might transfer to him. I think my emotions cannot be hidden, so sometimes I think it might be better not to know too much. I worry that my anger will be fully passed on to my son, and he will continue to harbor anger.

- What are your plans going forward?

▲ I am about to start an administrative lawsuit. I have to start again. This time, I will meet many lawyers and listen to how to approach this. How can I return to a normal life for myself?

Ms. A's father always wears Ms. A's student ID around his neck. He said, "She always went with me to places like the supermarket. Now, even when I go to the restroom at work, I always wear it."

This content was produced with the assistance of AI translation services.