[Forgotten Children] "Adopted to America... My Mother Never Even Dreamed of It"

"My mother spent over 20 years believing that I was living well in Korea. She said she never even dreamed that I could be in the United States, thousands of kilometers away."

March 25, 1982, was the day Jina Lee arrived at John F. Kennedy Airport in the United States at 10 months old. She has a photo taken at the airport that day. Including Lee, a total of five babies were held in the arms of their respective American adoptive mothers. The adoptive mothers carefully cradled the babies, their faces filled with excitement and joy. Lee spent her childhood in Massachusetts, enjoying happy times at the beach in summer and skiing and skating in winter. Her adoptive mother, who worked at a hospital, was known for her warm and independent nature and never judged others by appearances.

A childhood photo of Jina Lee, who was adopted to the United States in 1982. Her biological mother said she had no idea that Lee was adopted overseas. Lee said, "My biological mother had no way to find me because she was not even informed that I was being sent to the United States." Lee applied for truth investigation to the Third Truth and Reconciliation Commission on Past Issues.

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Lee was about five years old when her adoptive mother told her that she was adopted. At the time, it was difficult for Lee to understand why her adoptive mother was telling her this. Although she knew they did not look alike, it had never mattered to her. The word "adoption" felt unfamiliar. It was from that point that she began to wonder where Korea was and how her biological mother was doing. She recalled asking her adoptive mother countless times, "Where is my Korean mom?" Lee said, "I didn't even know whether my biological parents were alive, and it took me quite a long time to accept my identity as both Korean and American."

Her kind adoptive father began to struggle with mental illness and showed signs of instability when Lee was 11. "Some days he was happy, and the next day he would sink into sadness. I always had to be on guard and protect myself, not knowing where his emotions would go. It was the saddest period of my life." Lee wished for the ordinary days of family trips to the mountains or seaside to return, but five years later, her adoptive parents divorced. Whenever things were difficult, she would vaguely think of Korea. "The time I spent with my biological mother in Korea was only about four to five months. My biological mother decided on adoption because she felt it would be difficult to raise me." She added, "I wanted to return to Korea, but the ocean felt far too wide and deep."

According to her adoption records, Lee stayed for about three months at Kyungdongwon, a child welfare facility in Suwon, starting in September 1981. After the president of Holt Children's Services was appointed as her guardian, she was sent for overseas adoption the following year. Throughout this process, her biological mother's consent was never obtained. In the Holt documents, Lee was simply categorized as "abandoned" and "adoptable." The section for her biological mother's name was marked as "None."

Holt Children's Services has an adoption document for Ms. Lee Jina, written in English. There is a trace of change in the section for the date of birth, initially written as September 4 and later changed to May 26. Ms. Lee said, "Records of past international adoptees were written and altered very easily." She added, "What should have been a careful adoption process was carried out as if it were a business transaction," and "The wishes of my biological mother, who wanted me to stay in my homeland, were ignored."

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She met her biological mother for the first time when she visited Korea in 2002. Lee said, "My biological mother had no idea that I had been sent to the United States. She naturally assumed that I had grown up in a Korean adoptive family." After their brief meeting, her biological mother told her not to contact her again. While Lee was initially sad and confused, she now understands how her mother must have felt. Lee has tried to reach out to her biological mother every ten years, but sensed that her mother was worried that her own family might find out about the adoption. "I think my mother feels a deep sense of responsibility and guilt for what happened to me. If I ever get the chance to meet her again, I want to run to her, hug her, and say, 'It's not your fault, Mom. It's okay.'"

She has visited Korea a total of four times so far. Each time, she says, she feels as if she has returned home. She also enjoys watching Korean movies and dramas. She plans to visit Korea again for her summer vacation this year. To Korean birth parents who had no choice but to give up their children for adoption, she says this: "All we want is to let you know that we are doing well and that you no longer have to worry about us. I hope for a world where Korean adoptees and birth parents can understand each other and accept one another as they are."

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