[Bread-Baking Typewriter] Will That Friend Who Sometimes Comes to Mind but Drifted Away Welcome My Message?

Even people you have lost contact with for years or even decades can often come to mind. On holidays or other special days, you might think, "Should I reach out this time?" However, in the end, you fail to muster the courage, and they are forgotten once again. The reason is fear.

A research team led by Professor Peggy Liu at the University of Pittsburgh conducted an experiment on reaching out to others. The researchers asked participants to select someone with whom they had a social bond but had not been in touch for a while. Then, they were instructed to write a short message to that person. When asked, "How grateful do you think your friend will be to receive a message after such a long time?" participants were quite pessimistic. They assumed the recipient would not feel much emotion upon receiving the message.

The results were completely different. When recipients were asked to rate how they felt about the message on a scale from 1 (not grateful at all) to 7 (extremely grateful), the average score was 6.2. Contrary to the sender's expectations, the recipients were very pleased. The emotional impact was even greater in relationships with weaker social ties. People who thought they had not interacted deeply felt unexpected joy upon realizing that someone still remembered and valued them. This research demonstrates that even a small amount of courage and action can revive a "connection."

In the early 1960s, American scientists identified seven factors that influence health and longevity, including not smoking, moderate alcohol consumption, and adequate sleep. These became the foundation for public health guidelines. One lesser-known fact is that the researchers continued their studies and eventually added one more factor. The eighth secret was "social connection."

David Robson, a science journalist, encourages people not to fear connecting with others and to take a step closer, because even trivial contact or brief communication can bring great value. The author reviewed over 300 academic papers in psychology and science. Forming meaningful bonds with others helps wounds heal faster, reduces the risk of infection, and lowers the chances of developing Alzheimer's disease, heart attacks, or strokes. Additionally, concentration, memory, creativity, and problem-solving skills are improved. According to the author, connecting with others and forming social bonds is the most reliable way to ensure happiness and health.

It is good advice, but it may sound dreadful to introverts. Introverts have an inherent (!) aversion to "connection." Their life motto is "The world outside the blanket is dangerous!" For introverts who are comfortable alone and do not feel the need for relationships, it is not easy to agree with the author's claim that "connection is still important." Nevertheless, the author does not distinguish between introverts and extroverts when discussing the value of connection. Even if you feel comfortable alone, even if you say you are happy alone, connection can still bring greater value.

The author presents 13 rules for building a more satisfying social network. To help even introverts get started easily, detailed behavioral strategies are summarized at the end of each chapter. The book is filled with practical tips for daily relationships, such as how to spend meaningful time with someone you have just met, and how to make relationships more comfortable and lasting.

The Laws of Connection | Written by David Robson | Translated by Kim Sujin | Kkachi | 424 pages | 22,200 won